Seizures have shaped my life in many ways, some positive (I met my husband when he offered me a ride home from an event we were both attending!) and others difficult (I can’t drive, I can no longer do the lab work I was trained for, we avoided having children for health reasons).  

I always try to keep a positive attitude, but the whole thing sometimes leaves me frustrated, angry, and feeling…confined. I have skills, talents and a great work ethic, but what good did those things do?

Last year I felt myself being pulled into a downward spiral; I didn’t want that. I hate feeling like a victim when I have so many things to be grateful for. So I looked around and began to think. Instead of letting my little home island strand me, I decided to use what I had at my disposal—a grassy island among a sea of urban homes—and turn it into something beautiful and life-giving. 

My husband and I live in the city, so why, when most house are packed in like sardines in a can, do I have land to work with? Years back my parents, our neighbors, bought up several vacant lots. They cleaned up the garbage, cut down trees, got rid of weeds and old fences, and planted a little orchard. All that was left was mostly grassy land—about half a city block— and a tiny yellow house that we call The Cottage. When my mom asked me if I had any ideas of what to do with the green space, I knew exactly what I WANTED to do. But was it feasible? Was it wise?

As you’ll probably notice if you come along on my journey (and I hope you do!) I’m a weird combination of uber practical and crazy dreamer. Each has seemed, over the years, like a tether, keeping me from diving too deeply into any one particular thing. Even when the seizures were totally under control, I could never fully focus on a lab career because I always found myself dreaming of other things…and I’ve never thrown myself deeply into the “beautiful dreams” because every practical counter argument screamed in my face. But I think with Yellow Cottage Neighborhood Flowers, I might be able to find the perfect balance between practical (soil health, perfect tuber storage conditions, plant health, bookkeeping) and dreams (beautiful photography, wondrous color palettes, flower arranging, creative writing).

So this year is the first year of my plunge into…micro flower farming? Urban gardening? Flower growing? I don’t know the terminology exactly, but I know the plan: I’ll start small, about 1200 square feet of flower-growing space, but unlike previous years, when I just grew whatever caught my eye from the seed display at Menards (along with GORGEOUS dahlia tubers from my dear aunt), this year I’ve put thought into what types of flowers I’m growing, their timing for blooms, and how those flowers will look together in arrangements and bouquets. 

I realized last summer when I started clustering flowers together to share with family and friends, that there is a difference between flowers in a cup and a floral arrangement. Flowers in a cup are pretty, but I want to improve my arranging skills for special occasions when I want the flowers to bring a little extra zing!

So this year, I’m putting in effort upfront. I’ve been mindful of the colors, shades, shapes, varieties, making sure they complement each other well.  I’m trying to plant FOCUS flowers (showstoppers like dahlias, zinnias, and sunflowers), FILLER flowers (strawflowers, dahlia poms, black eyed Susans, amaranth), FOLIAGE (basil, grasses, cosmos greenery), and INTEREST flowers (dancing cosmos, spiky snapdragons). Some of these categories are flexible, but you get the idea! I’ve successfully grown most of these flowers before, but snapdragons are going to be a first this year, as well amaranth, and decorative grasses. 

Stepping out like this takes a lot of courage! I’m not at all sure of success. It seems much more likely that I’ll fail, like I’ve done so many other times over the years. That’s one of the reasons I decided to keep a blog. To remind myself that it’s a journey, an adventure. This blog will be a record of a life LIVED, not just pondered!

But I don’t plan to fail! I’ve put a lot of thought into this idea, and I’m going to give it my best shot.

So, that’s my story in a nutshell! I’m sure I’ll delve into more details about various things as I write this year, but for now, that ought to do.